Kindergarten

It is crazy to think about how fast time goes.  How quickly babies turn into kids with personalities and opinions.  Tomorrow morning at this time I will be getting my daughter ready for her first day of Kindergarten! It is an official goodbye to her baby years, and its the new chapter of her life as a school aged kid.  From tomorrow for the next 13 years we will be up in the mornings getting ready for school and then she will be out on her own, paving her own way through life and the world.  I am so happy for my daughter to be growing up.  But it leaves a hole in my heart.  I have no baby anymore.  My oldest is hardly a baby anymore, and my son isnt here for me to baby.  

This time last year I imagined life differently.  I was 15 weeks pregnant and imagined pushing the baby in a stroller to drop her off at school in the morning.  I planned on coming home, cleaning then sitting down to play with the baby as I worked on some homework. Instead after I drop her off at school I will be coming home to an empty house.  No child running around making noise and messes.  It is a much different thing then I planned for.  I am so happy for my daughter, but at the same time it brings up so much in me about how much I am missing Emery.