Mixed emotions

I seem to be having a lot of good days lately with enjoying the time I have with my little boy but every once and a while reality seems to slap me in the face all over again.  Last night I had some braxton hicks contractions, and it made me feel so sick and uncomfortable.  But it made me really realize that I should get our bags packed...just in case since we have no idea what will happen.  Then today when I went to the store it made me so sad looking at all the winter clothes for little boys.  I wish some days I could avoid it completely, but where it is located it is impossible to get around.  I was excited to have a winter baby and bundle him up I thought it would be so cute.  Now I don't need to plan to bundle for my winter boy since chances are he will never leave the hospital.  Some days  it just leaves me a little bummed thinking about.  Also after the contractions last night(which I never had with my daughter) I am scared for the possibility of what if he doesn't make it to our next ultrasound.  I want as many pictures as possible and I hope he is comfy inside so he stays there for the next 90 days.  That's right, only 90 days until my due date.  Time is flying by,  I will love to kiss on those little cheeks.