One door shuts

Today was the last day of my job and as a full time student up until June.  It is SO crazy to me because this has been my whole life.  I will miss my job and all the people I work with and really hope once I am in school again I can go back there.  Sadly my job is tied to being in a minimum of 6 credit hours.  Today was the very last day to withdraw from classes, and being behind I had to so I can keep a good GPA.  But now here we are with no income.  I am so scared and so stressed.  It seems like everything in my life is crumbling into pieces and I am not sure I can get enough glue to fix it all!!  

I also am struggling with the fact that other people's lives seem so damn perfect.  I know deep down they aren't but at least they are DAMN GOOD at faking it.  I am frustrated.  I am tired of complaining about how stupid my life is but writing about it is just about the only thing making it easier for me to put my emotions aside.  As I close the computer and I have finished typing I am able to shut down these thoughts and move on with my day to find the happiness in the small moments.

But since this blog is about my beautiful little boy and not myself I figured I would let everyone know he seems very comfortable where he is at for now (thank goodness!!)  I have another check up in a week from today.  I can feel him move every day, sometimes certain days more then others. And I also have a doppler so that I am able to hear his heartbeat when I want to.  I hope he stays comfy for many more days so I can carry him with me as long as possible.  

And here is a picture of him from the side of his face,  he is so adorable and I cannot wait to kiss his cheeks!! Though I wish I could do it forever!!