Tomorrow is the first day of the springs semester in school. It is the first semester I will be completely out of school since I started college 2 and a half years ago. I haven't gone full time the entire time but it will be so weird for me to not be doing any school or work for the next few months. I know I haven't been but with my husband starting work and school again it really seems so weird to me. I am so thankful I have someone like him who can work so hard for our family at such a crazy time so that I am able to stay home and take a physical and mental break from "the real world".
In 3 weeks time, maybe even less and I will be in the hospital having my son. I have never had a son. And it has been 4 and a half years since I had my daughter. This time it is a different experience. I never would have imagined at 36 weeks pregnant I wouldn't be wanting time to fly by! Unfortunately it is going WAY too fast. I truly cherish every moment that I have with him, the kicks, punches, hiccups or the sharp elbows my my sides. Every bump makes me smile, especially when my husband or daughter get to feel him rocking.
My son has taught me so much about life, about myself, about family and friends. He has taught me an unreal amount of strength, that I didn't know even half of which existed in my body. I also never paid attention to how much I like to control EVERYTHING. But I do and I hate that everything has been planned now and all the rest is out of my hands. I have also realize what an amazing support my family is. The whole experience they have just stood by our sides and been there when we needed them. Friends, as well. Some people did surprise me, but I should have known. Either way others have reached out in ways I would never have expected. I have made new, amazing friends who are an amazing support. I know we have so much love and support as we face the birth of our son.
My son is such a blessing, even though it isn't the traditional one you expect when you have a baby. He is my son, and will be long after his physical time with us is up. I look forward though to meeting this little life changer and getting to kiss him. I cannot wait for my husband to love and hold him, and I hope my daughter has the same opportunity.
Life is so unexpected. Learn to accept it and appreciate every moment. You never know what strength and blessings you will find along the way.
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